Fa-cock-ta CD release party at the Beatles Revolution Lounge
Jewish rap gangstaz Fa-cock-ta held a CD release party for their new album entitled Loxstars on Tuesday December 23rd in a Hanukah celebration to die for, you’ll excuse my expression. The psychedelic Beatles Revolution Lounge was standing room only, filled with those of the faith as well as gentile well-wishers of every race and religion. We came, we listened, we ate; what’s not to like?
Opening with the pounding beat of Challah If U Hear Me (yeah you heard me, a song about the bread) composer/performers Jewish Dave and M.C. Ethel cover every square inch of stage keeping the flow going while D.J. Avi D.O.G. proved he could scratch like one. In a Santa cap, yet with braided forelocks.
Next came Nice Jewish Girlz, extolling the virtues of those with “all the chutzpah and a lot more sass, and if you mess with us you know we’ll be kickin’ your ass!” M.C. Ethel drives this message home in gold spandex pants. Only someone like her could pull it off (and she will, if you ask her).
Gangstaz of Hilarity gives you Fa-cock-ta’s perspective on being funny with lines like, “You know Seinfeld, Jerry, David, Larry, thugs to the nth degree, it’s like scary.” Jewish Dave belts this out like a reformed cantor and I believed every word. These guys are hilarious and get even more so as the set progresses. Would I kid you?
Some of the lyrics can be rough, so you might want to steer bubby away from some of the racier numbers (like every other song except) Word 2 Ur Bubby, and The Deli. Bubby is a love fest for grandma, such a good cook, and there’s a rhyme in there that matches borscht with Porsche, while The Deli proclaims there’s something for everyone. “Yeah we all love to eat, you know the Jews are major players, and on all our birthdays we get seven layers.”
As a shiksa, I should only be so lucky.
Kosher Kruisin’ and We Be Shtoopin” are songs that are all about bangin’ and I don’t mean drums. The first song talks about “a lot of pretty b#tches that I’m gonna be nailin'” and the second declares “there’s only one reason why we here and you shouldn’t have mistook us is to get you on the floor and make you shake that tuchas.”
Fa-cock-ta’s not afraid of using the F-word. The band’s name itself means f—ked up, as M.C. Ethel explained. Would she lie? I don’t think so. And they kiss their mothers with those mouths.
Now you can’t celebrate God’s chosen people without a song about the dreidel, even though the Fa-cock-ta crew finds a way to inject sex into that as well. “What up girl, my little Shayne maidel, pop into my world, I’ll fill the hole in your bagel.”
10 Commandments redeems itself with a touching piety, beginning with the line, “You know how I love a big circumcised boner, chillin’ with Moses the original stoner…” This they do with a prop that illustrates some of the words. See if you can guess.
Bagels and cream cheese were served to guests, but the fledgling band needs a few more lucrative gigs to be able to offer lox. They’re nice Jewish kids trying to keep their heritage alive and updated. Believe me, these guys can gewai.
In case you’re wondering, yes they do bar mitzvahs.
MC Ethel is the lead vocal on most cuts and the eyeglass-wearing, gold spandex-clad sexpot interacts with the audience like a fashion plate from Delray Beach. Jewish Dave has the moves and can rap with a large clock hanging from his chest like you wouldn’t believe. D.J. Avi D.O. G. anchors the trio with a turntable he can fardreen like he has three hands.
Watching Fa-cock-ta perform makes it fun and fabulous to have roots in the Holy Land and be able to make the horah hilarious, the sukkah sensational and the brisket boisterous. These folks belong on the talk shows, in the casinos and on stages throughout the borscht belt. You will see leopard print and Mel Gibson “Schmuck” shirts. You heard me.
Jewish gangsta rap – it makes sense, you know. After all, “yo” spelled backwards is “oy.” Am I right? I am of Italian heritage and I could relate to the dancing, the food, and the guilt. What’s not to like? With my Fa-cock-ta mischpoche it’s all kosher.
They’re on tour right now. So go already.
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