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By Dianne R. Davis

Photos by Dianne or Burt Davis
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You’ve gotta see Ralphie May, but only if you are not a prude.

If you like your humor raw and hilarious, then catch Ralphie at South Point May 11 – 13 at 7:30 p.m.

When I saw him last year at South Point, I couldn't stop laughing. Be warned, he has been know to spend a lot of time discussing BJs and hand jobs. If you don’t know what BJ stands for, don’t bother going to his show.

But if you want a guy who discusses the fact that women should “s**k d**ks smarter, not harder”, do yourself a favor and get over there.

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“Maximize your oral” he told the near sell-out crowd when I saw him. He even gave instructions on how to digitally please women. Nuf said. But of course the main- you should excuse the expression – thrust was about what guys want and how to get it. We all know what guys want, right?!

Ralphie's wife Lahana is scheduled to open for him, so let me tell you, you are in for a treat. This woman has her own variety of funny. She does sing Ralphie’s praises. Not surprising since she’s been living with him for more than a dozen years, married to him for almost 7 years, and is the mother of his two children.

Ralphie and Lahna clearly are people who color outside the lines. The kids are named April June May and August James May .Really. Now Lahna is not built on the generous side like Ralphie is. So here is this cute Jewish woman talking about this gentile guy who grew up in Clarksville, Arkansas. “ A fat man will go down on you all day long, cause he’s hungry,” she tells us.

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It’s no secret that Ralphie likes a bit of weed now and again, so if you want a unique shirt, he’ll sell you one that says, “Stoned like a biblical whore.” He wonders, “If God hates fags, why is he still making em?” His words, not mine. He admonished people who don’t like gays to, “stop f@#$%ing.” After all, he explained to us, “it’s the straight people who make gay people.”

And it’s the hilarious comedian who makes us rock with laughter. For more on Ralphie, check out his website athttp://www.ralphiemay.com Catch Ralphie at South Point on Friday,Saturday or Sunday evenings, May 11, 12, and 13.

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